The Essential Oil Bandwagon

So some of you may think I'm completely nuts, hippie-ish, voodoo, whatever. BUT I thought I would quickly share with you something that has benefitted my family over the last several months.

When Rowland had his stomach issues a few months ago, we were desperate to try anything. A friend and coworker of Josh's told us about some essential oils and gave us some samples to try. No harm no foul so we figured we would give it a shot. I really thought that it was crazy but was willing to try anything. After using a digestive blend on Rowland's stomach twice a day, he began to use the bathroom regularly. I would notice that when I stopped giving it to him, he stopped going to the bathroom. Now, he is back to normal! I really thought that it was crazy but if it works, it works right? They had also given us a sample of lavender, so we would put it on the boys' feet at night and we were noticing that they were sleeping a lot better. At times Rowland would calm down almost immediately after applying lavender to his feet.

We decided to give the oils a shot and signed on with a company to have a wholesale account. I was not interested and still am not interested in selling any oils, but they were working so why not try some more? Since getting started with the oils, we have had success using them for headaches, bug bites, stomach issues, nausea, sleeping, sore muscles, allergies and asthma, etc. I realize that it sounds crazy, but I also understand that it is all natural, safe for my children, and seems to be working pretty well for us! If you have been wanting to try essential oils, some medicines don't work for you, or you want a healthy alternative for your children and yourself, let me know. Like I said before, I do not sell the oils. Because we were given the opportunity to try the oils before signing up for the wholesale account, I'd love to give anyone interested the same opportunity. If you would like to try something at wholesale price, have a question about an oil for a specific problem, or just want to know more, just let me know and I'd be happy to answer your questions! Not all oils work the same for every person so what works for us may not work for you and vice versa. But if they can help someone else the way that they have helped us, I'd be happy to share them with you!

A Child's Perspective

I've really been debating writing a blog about this topic for a while. Recently, however, it has been weighing on my heart tremendously and it's something that I feel so passionately about. I promise to try to make this as brief as possible. I will warn you, however, that the words I'm about to say may step on some toes. I say them out of love and concern and with no ill intentions, and I speak them from a place of experience, hurt and healing. 

"That word" is not used in a joking manner in my home. "That word" is not used as a threat in an argument. "That word" is something that changed my life. 

"That word"? Divorce. 

Too often in today's society marriage is looked at simply as a loosely binding, only if I get my way and I'm happy, tax credit, as long as _____, agreement. Wow. My heart literally ACHES. 

Over the last few years, I have witnessed and experienced divorce in many couples, including my own parents. I was of the "not my parents, never happen to me" mentality until it hit me like a ton of bricks in 2008. My family is/was a fantastic Christian family who worked hard to provide the best life for me and my brothers that they could. The years that have followed have been filled with heartache, tears, healing and new relationships. 

Let me make something VERY clear. While I do NOT condone divorce in many, many cases, I do believe that the Bible gives reasons for divorce. This post does NOT simply refer to my parents divorce. I am also NOT here to judge my parents, you, or anyone else with the decisions you make. 

The reason for this blog post then?

I am extremely tired of the "I just don't want to be married" "We just don't love each other" "He/She just doesn't understand" and many times, the marriage is ended, with no real try for reconciliation and the children are left....in the middle...shuffled from home to home. That's right, your children. 

My reason for this post is to give light to a different side. A child's perspective.

If you think for one second that your divorce will not negatively affect your children in one way or the other, satan has you so very fooled. (And let me be clear that I am speaking on cases of selfishness, not abuse) 

Your children will pay the price regardless of their age. You can get rid of your spouse. They can not get rid of their parent. More than likely, they will watch their world, as they know it, crumble. They will feel lost and shuffled between two sides. Even if it is not asked or mentioned, they may feel pulled to one side or the other. When you divorce, realize that your decision will not only affect your relationship with your spouse but it also affects your relationship with your children. Please don't be fooled. Sure, some couples can divorce and be the "happy, shared custody, live next door" families that are portrayed on tv. But more than likely, it won't be yours, as it isn't in the majority of divorce cases. Your children may feel as though they are to blame. They will, more than likely, not tell you every thing they feel no matter how "close" you think your relationship is. Their relationship with God may also be affected. Either positively or negatively, and you can only hope that it is not the latter. This is not a blog post about whether divorce is right or wrong. (That's a discussion for another day) I am simply imploring you -society- to step back and realize that it isn't as "black and white" as you think. 

Marriage is to be a blessed union between two people. Marriage should not be a selfish agreement. It is hard work. It isn't to be taken lightly. It's sacred. And when you chose to get married, you felt that way. You took that vow. Why then, do we not fight for it? Why then, do we let satan rip it away from us without holding on as tight as possible? 

All I am simply asking is to seriously consider your children, your actions and your reasons. Your relationships with your children will not be the same. It isn't just about you and your spouse when you bring children in to the world. If you do divorce your spouse, hug your children. Love them. Get them someone, BESIDES yourself or family, to talk to. DO NOT trash talk your ex. DO NOT make them choose a side. Above all, consider that they may be hurting or struggling with the concept and don't downplay their feelings.

"This hurts me so much more than my children" Is something that I heard a few years back and my heart broke. In many cases, that is so naive. It hurts. It is a different hurt, but it hurts. 

I have struggled with the consequences of my parents divorce and have experienced many of the feelings mentioned above. I have also gotten to a place of healing with some and not with others. I have overcome many of the challenges that I mentioned. This post is not about me or my experiences, however, it is about children in general. They have a voice too and I emplore you to listen to it. Not to keep your marriage alive for them but to understand that they also play a role in a divorce. Don't be naive and fooled in to thinking otherwise.

The struggles of a sweet boy

I realize that it has been a while since I have "blogged." Shame on me. I also realize that I am a mommy, wife, teacher, crafter, grocery shopper, house cleaner, clothes washer, etc, and these days I do well to remember the date and get everyone clothed :)

I wanted to write this post to give an update about our little family. Let me say thank you, first, for the calls, texts, messages, and sweet prayers for answers and of encouragement. The last few weeks, for me, have been physically and emotionally draining. I'm not saying that for any sympathy. It's just a fact, so please take it as just that. It is what it is. However, over the past few weeks, I have been overwhelmed with the reminder of what a blessing our family and friends are. 

I was, by no means, naive enough to think that baby #2 would be a walk in the park. We'd done this before though, so sleepless nights, poop, and screams were all expected and prepared for. Again, we'd done this before...right? Ha! While everyone has struggles with the first, I have come to believe that you have struggles with them all. Just different struggles. 

Rowland and I slept on the couch for 2 1/2 weeks after coming home. He cried A LOT. But that's normal right? Keep reading---

I was exhausted. I missed my bed drastically. I missed sleep. And whoever says "Sleep when they sleep," it didn't work with #2 because, ahem, I have a #1, duh! I cried, like a lot. I missed playing with Carter. I missed my husband. I spent my days feeding, caring for both children, and if I was lucky, I got a shower. By the time our 2nd week checkup came around, projectile vomit was a daily thing. At two weeks, Rowland had gained a pound and a half. Apparently that was a lot to my pediatrician and he was nursing every hour and a half. Again, too often for her. I wasn't quite sure how I was going to calm my screaming and vomiting child. She figured he had some reflux, prescribed Zantac and sent us on our way with strict instructions to slow up on the nursing. 

Over the next few weeks, and more weight gain, our medicine was changed to Prilosec. I felt ridiculous pumping medicines in my child at one month old. At one point, he was getting gas drops, a probiotic, Prilosec, Zantac, gripe water, thrust medication and vitamin d drops. I was done. No more. The vomiting continued, the screaming never stopped. I continued the Prilosec and vitamin and stopped everything else. After 3 days of projectile vomit after EVERY SINGLE feeding, I called the pediatrician again and begged them to do something. When I say projectile, I mean forceful, across the room, everyone has to change and the carpet had to be cleaned. I knew babies cried, but he was NEVER happy, was always arching and screaming, and I didn't feel like I could enjoy him. So we were referred to a GI specialist. 

We have since had an ultrasound (that took an hour longer than it should have because of a huge gas ball), and an upper GI. Both came back normal, but we were informed that Rowland has severe reflux. "He refluxes without any triggers or effort and its a significant amount" (Duh, I thought to myself) That combined with lots of gas and only pooping once a week has made for an unhappy baby. We have since tried some essential oils and figured out the medicine dosage and we have actually slept for the last 4 nights (4hour stretches) and have had little to no projectile vomit :) Exciting right? 

We go back to see the GI doctor next week but for now, we are starting to enjoy our little one and I think he's beginning to enjoy us a little too :)

We are SO BLESSED with families who are willing to watch Carter, bring dinner, or even just go to doctors visits with me. Special thanks to our sweet friends who have prayed and encouraged me over the last few weeks. I want to name a few by name because I need you to know that just listening and talking has made a HUGE difference: Cecilia Hatley, Kathy Blackwell, Wynne Callis You all have been so sweet and encouraging!

We also have crazy friends who come to help do random house projects AND bring dinner: Bean and Reece family, you are crazy but we are so thankful for you all!!

So I wrote this to inform all of our sweet friends and family of our recent "adventures" and of the results and progress we've made. I am so blessed with two sweet boys and would never, for one second, change anything. God uses situations to teach me every day and I am so grateful to serve a God who cares for me and my family. I realize that many people have worse situations, but I also realize that it's  ok to admit when things are a little difficult. No one is super mom. And I think, at least in the "mom blog" world, we put on a face of "everything is great." Some people struggle and maybe this little story will encourage someone along the way :)