God doesn't protect us from what He perfects us through

For those of you that know me pretty well, you would probably say that I am an opinionated woman and that I'm not afraid to let you know what that opinion is. While this is probably true, I cannot forgo blogging any longer.

As many of you know, I have been asking my friends to pray for the Keen family over the past few days. This situation is extremely sad and breaks my heart. If you don't know the story, here's a short brief:

Chris what out on a bass boat Sunday afternoon when he and another member of our church were thrown from the boat. As of right now, Chris is still missing.

Chris has a wife and two teenage children and, from what I am told, is a wonderful Christian man who lives for Christ. He also serves as a deacon at our church.

Now, while my heart has been breaking for this family, I have had to make myself stay away from the articles and news media reports. (I pray that Vicki, Tucker and Whitney have also) I was taken back last night when the "report" of the accident came on the news. This sad situation was turned in to a debate and criticism about wearing a life jacket. While Chris wasn't wearing a life jacket, none of us were there, no one knows the details, and the LAST thing this family needs to hear is that their father and husband has become another statistic.

The search does continue and I continue to plead for your prayers for this sweet family. No one wants to be in the situation that the Keen family is now in. Cherish every day and live every day to the fullest. In class on Sunday, our video lesson said "God doesn't protect us from what He perfects us through" It is not easy but God is present and is in control.

April showers and April rememberance

March is almost over so you know what's next right?......APRIL! I've always heard the saying that April showers bring May flowers. April has not proven to be a great month for me and I don't mean the 'rain showers.'

Today as I was listening to "When I die young" by the Band Perry, I ran across a highschool friend on facebook. This highschool friend was one of the highlights of my week when I worked at Penney's. You see, many times I would pick up some lunch at DQ next door, where I was always greated by Megan's face. No matter how many times I go back to that same DQ, I won't be greated at the counter by Megan. Megan passed away April 8th 2009 at the age of 20.

On April 13th 2002, I, along with many others, lost a dear friend, Jennifer Souder, to a hiking accident. She was only 21 and engaged to be married. She was such an encouragment and teacher to me and many others. I still remember our weekend girls retreat together. I can still hear her voice and laugh after this many years.

As I sit here remebering these wonderful souls today, I realize how blessed I am with each day that I have. April is a month of rememberance for me in many ways. Count your blessings and always remember to thank God for each day no matter how 'horrible' it was. I am blessed with a wonderful husband, family and little 'peanut' and I can not be more thankful!!!

What's your weird fear?

Hello friends! This is just a quick post to explain to you one of my biggest, scariest, and somewhat babyish fears.

Visiting the dentist (go ahead and laugh).

Well, the dentist is expecting me in about two hours. My dream last night??? Nightmares about the dentist, go figure. This fear really doesn't work for me considering my MOTHER-IN-LAW is a DENTAL HYGIENIST!!!! I honestly don't feel a thing when she cleans my teeth, however my mouth waters and I squirm like she is trying to pry my teeth out of my head.

I brush and floss consistently in hopes I won't have to visit the dentist as often. WRONG! Every time I get my teeth cleaned (with Josh or with my brother growing up) I'm the one with the cavaties. Even though they don't floss or brush as often.

So.......as I travel to visit my least favorite person in the world (no offense to him), I was wondering if any of you have a weird fear??? I fear heights like many others, but I'm not sure how many people have nightmares about a dentist and grip the chair like they are about to die.

So.....Any weird fears????

"Life's tough get a helmet"

I'm posting twice today, because I have plenty of time to think this week. I have the whole week with near nothing to do, so expect one a day!

I've been reminded this past week of a friends recent blog. She mentioned "Sisterhood of the traveling pants" and talked about a friendship that is strong and lasting.

Last week, a lot of "friendship" thoughts were the topic of discussion between Josh and I. Josh is my best friend and, unfortunately for him, gets to hear my every thought, worry, fear, and frustration. Josh is, apart from God, the best listener I have!

When Josh and I moved from Cookeville, I left everything. I left my home church, my family, my daily outings with friends, my weekend plans, my "educational" talks from the grandparents. Don't get me wrong, it is completely worth it and I feel that Hendersonville is where God wants us to be. My issue? or the major BUT of the sentence?

Lately, I have had a lot on my mind. A week ago, I collapsed in tears in Josh's arms. You never realize how much a visit from grandma or a lunch with my "Freds" matters until they are no more. People move on and relationships change. They have to at times.

So here is where I am. I have a longing for friendship that can only come with time. Part of me feels like God wants/needs me to rely on Him. I am. Regardless, moving is hard. We have gotten involved with a wonderful group at church and I know that the friendships will come with time. Growing up is hard. I'm reminded of the Boy Meets World episode I watched growing up.

"Life's tough, get a helmet"

Don't forget them

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about the armed forces. While I don't have a close friend or relative currently serving, soldiers have been brought to mine and Josh's attention more than once this week.

Earlier in the week, Josh realized that he knew a soldier that was recently killed overseas. This soldier worked with Josh in Columbia and his wife is due any day with their first child.

Tuesday night, we worked with the Inner City Missions, and one of the ladies with us was talking about her son who is overseas. Stories started flowing about events and issues that they had encountered. She told us about how there guard was always up. We were told about a 7 year old who was running back toward them with the bomb they had just thrown. Do you shoot the 7 year old or do you get blown up?

I can only imagine the life of a soldier or their close family members. I have always told Josh that I would be a nervous wreck if he was in the military. I have so much respect for those who are serving overseas. I am currently listening to christian music. If I had no freedom, this would not be possible. I'm able to work, walk and worship freely because of the sacrifices that soldiers have made. Thanks is never enough, but should still be said.

I don't care if you are pro or anti our current military situation. Fact: they are overseas busting their rump for you and me. Don't forget them. Many of us have no real connection to the military, yet we enjoy what we enjoy today because of what they have done and continue to do.

God Bless our Troops and bring them home safe.

Change

Are you the kind of person who embraces change or do you just ignore it?

Do you question it or run from it?

Do you like it or hate it?

Let me start by saying that there are so many different types of change, both positive and negative. Change comes in so many forms and while some are welcomed with open arms, others are rejected by sobbing tears. Changes are something that I have always been taught to accept no matter what, because you can't change them. How you deal with changes really says alot about who you are. I would like to think that I have accepted and dealt with the changes in my life in such a way that God would say "Well Done." However, I sit here today with a heavy heart. Yes I'm pregnant and emotional, but my emotions are justified today.

It's funny how changes from long ago can continue to affect your life. In order to "deal" with things, I talk about them, cry, get angry, laugh etc. I'm a woman so emotions should be accepted as a form for dealing with things. Many people who have known you your whole life sometimes feel like the story is constantly being re-told and get tired of hearing from you. No matter how many times the story is told, rejected, accepted, it still remains the same and must be dealt with.

It's time to deal with things that hurt. It's time to deal with issues that frustrate me. No more hiding them. No more hoping someone will listen and understand. Change, in this case, must be dealt with head on. Although, I do feel that it will be a constant decision and battle.

This may make no sense, but whatever changes that have occured in your life....how did you deal with them? Are you proud of it? If not, change the outcome in the future! Changes and struggles make us who we are, so ask God to bless them.

Baby News

So, I want to start by saying that we have been very blessed this week. Sometimes, God answers prayers and in the ways that we have asked Him to. This week, a lot of stress has been lifted off of our shoulders! So thanks be to Him for all of our blessings and trials.

Today, I got to see our little one. What an amazing sight to see! I feel so incredibly bad, because daddy didn't get to go today. At the very first ultrasound, he was able to see the heartbeat, and at this ultrasound, the little one was jumping for joy. I guess we are even now.

We found out at the ultrasound that I am a little further along than we thought I was. Originally, they thought I was 11 weeks and 1 day today. However, I am 11 weeks and 5 ish days. She had to try REALLY hard to get the baby to stay still long enough to measure crown to rump. She got a few different measurements. The first was 12 weeks and the second was 11 weeks 6 days. So who knows!!! My new due date is August 24th.

Everyone keeps asking what we want. Depending on the day, depends on the gender! We just want a healthy little one and a healthy pregnancy and delivery. So far, things look good, however they did have to take a double look today. She thought she saw some braxton hicks contractions, but said that was normal. Either way, things look good and baby is a bounding bundle. (Takes it after it's dad. He can't stay still for 2 seconds.) I have had cravings for Milk, (I drink a gallon in a few days time) salty stuff, and NO SWEETS. I guess it's good that I would rather have fruit or jello than ice cream. The only problem so far is that I sleep in the middle of the bed. (According to my husband) We will keep everyone updated! Love you all!

An Example

Imagine being homeless for a second.

You were in jail for years, and when you got out, you were left to be on the streets. It's January, and it's very cold, even snowing at times. You are a nice person, and you strive to be pleasant in order to stay at the mission or a church for each night of the week. You don't own much, just the clothes on your back and a few letters or documents. You find yourself at a church one night, privaledged to be a part of their shelter for the evening. A man from the church walks up to you and begins talking to you. He seems genuine and wishes to help if he can. You tell him that really, you are in need of a coat. Within a weeks time, the man meets you on the street, buys you lunch, and gives you a coat. The week passes, and you are blessed to receive a ticket from the mission to stay at that same church again. The man is back. This time, he brings you a backpack, toothbrush, toothpaste and deoderant. This man barely knows you, why is he doing this? You begin to talk to him and open up and inform him that you do have family, however they are living in Detroit and you haven't spoken to them in many years. The man vows to you that he will find them. As a few days pass, the man finds you on the street and tells you that he has found your family. What do you think? He allows you to talk to your family on the phone and vows to you that he will get you home to them. By now, about two weeks have gone by. You are now at the bus station with a ticket bound for Detroit. what is going through your mind? You life has now changed drastically in only two weeks. For whatever reason, you are attacked. What do you do? You call the only man who has shown any interest in you in a long time. He comes to pick you up. What happens next? Wait for it........

I'm sure my family will kill me after I write this, but too bad. Let me start by telling you that my family and my husband's family are very different. Neither good, bad, right or wrong. Just different. Having been raised differently, it is very difficult for me to see the relationship that my sister-in-law has with my mother-in-law and it is difficult for me to understand some of the things and reasons why my in-laws do the things they do. With that being said, God has blessed me with in-laws and a relationship with them that is more than I could have asked for. Many times people clash horribly with the family that they married in to. We have our moments....don't get me wrong. I can honestly say, however, that my relationship with David and Linda is one that I am blessed with. David and Linda are wonderful Godly people who would never toot their own horn, and I can promise you that they will tell you that they are only doing things and acting as God would want them to. David has spoken many times in the last month or so to our church and each time he says "Our role as a Christian is to constantly live a life trying to be more like Christ." That's all we can do, and that's what we are called to do.

The man in the story has a name. His name is Pruette. The church man also has a name. He is my father-in-law. After Pruette was beat up, he lived with David and Linda for about 3 days until the snow in Detroit had cleared and the bus could leave. David and Linda were not the only ones who helped. Many at the church donated to help get Pruette back home.

I'm not saying that everyone needs to take in homeless people. Honestly though, how timid are we to do the right thing sometimes or to even be nice to someone. David drives me crazy sometimes, because he is ALWAYS in a good mood. How many times do we let our hurt, bad feelings, or fear get in the way of doing what Christ would want us to. Please do not go thanking David and Linda and commenting on the whole situation. They will say exactly this "We were only doing what we felt was right and what we felt, as Christians, we were called to do"

Don't get me wrong. I have a loving and caring Father and family. My dad works very hard throughout the week and at church. He helps out at the pantry, which many (I'm sure) try to avoid because they just don't have time. God has blessed me with family and in-laws that live for Him. I just wanted to pass along the story because I thought it was a neat one.

Are you striving to be Christ-like?

Full Custody

So, I have many things that I want to say, and I have written line after line and can't seem to begin this blog with a profound statement that I feel is worthy of "the first line."

I realize that many people may not read this, but sometimes it is beneficial for me to write. (or type, as the case may be)

This week has been one of depression and realization. Let me start by telling you how absolutely wonderful my Wednesday night women's Bible study is. We are studying Phillipians at the moment, and I have been so blessed by different comments and scriptures that are shared each week. It's funny how God knows what we NEED to hear, maybe not what we WANT to hear. This past week we talked about anger, and the fact that Paul, while in jail and after being beaten, was still able to praise God through his struggles and pursue the furthering of God's word. Ok....let's stop right there. I said IN JAIL......and PRAISE. How many times do we praise God when things are NOT going our way? I'm sure we question Him, but do we praise Him. After all, He knows what is best for us and will always provide for us. Anyway! Statements were made about God's disipline for His children and about anger and frustration. (Quoting Tricia) "God wants to have full custody, not just visitation on the weekends." Statements were also made that God will protect us, but that does not mean we won't go through difficult times. If we were shielded from difficult times and never had to struggle, everyone would want to be a christian simply for the fact that they would want to be protected. Not because they love God.

With that being said, things have happened this week where I have struggled but still managed to make myself try to get in the habit of praising God through the frustrations and the anger.

This week, I feel that by letting God in to every aspect, emotion and situation, (even if you are having to force yourself), is a step in the right direction. By being a part of everything in my life, I strive to live my life for Him.

I have more to say, but I am going to put it in a different post....please take the time to read it too!!!

Humbling Hormones

Now that I've had a week to stew over some things, it's time to type them out.

Just today, I read a friend's blog and boy did it hit like a ton of bricks! In the blog, she talked about things that we hold on to and how we need to let them go and give them to God. I needed to hear that so much today that it inspired me to update my own blog.

As many of you know, I am pregnant (10 weeks Saturday to be exact). Ever since Josh and I found out, I can't even begin to tell you the things that have gone through our minds, were told to us, and were talked about. Many of you know me and know that I have no problem speaking my mind. Recently, however, Josh and God are the only ones hearing what I think.

As humans, we are quick to accuse, quick to worry, quick to point fingers, and quick to speak. We are also, however, slow to forgive, slow to listen, and slow to LET GO. Recently I have found myself getting lost in my thoughts, frustrations, worries and fears. I have a huge fear of being a mommy. Not the physical stuff, but the emotional and spiritual stuff. On another note, when you are pregnant, you are more emotional. I understand this, but don't begin to downplay what I am about to say. I'm frustrated with some people. I'm mad at some people. I'm scared and holding on to things that shouldn't even matter. Many of this is amplified because of my hormones, but either way, it is there.

After I read Jess's blog, I realize that I am not letting go and allowing God to grant me the peace that He so desperately desires to give me. Many times I feel like I can control things by myself. It's humbling when you realize that you can't. There have been many humbling moments this week.

On a lighter note, Josh and I couldn't be happier. Although we are somewhat scared, as many new parents are, we are thrilled at the thought that in 7 months we will be holding our own little bundle of joy!